Over the past couple of months, the topic of parenting has come up many times. Even before Jak and I were expecting, we talked about having kids and the way we desired to raise them. Now that us having a son is a reality we have had many talks about the way we desire to raise Xander. Given how technologically dependent today’s society is, we want to make sure Xander gets an old-school childhood where he is in the yard playing sports and games rather than sitting behind a screen from the age of two. Sadly, so many children are exposed to technology at the age of two and there hasn’t been enough research on the effects for children. There is some research out there, and what’s out there says that the exposure to technology might not be the best. I know that most children have their own devices at such a young age, but given that Jak and I love the outdoors, photography, and value being active, we hope that we raise Xander to enjoy the outdoors, and be curious about the environment around him. I know Jak and I both have talked to each other, sharing memories from our childhood about being in the environment, exploring, playing with peers. We want Xander to be able to experience that.
We also know that once Xander arrives that things will change and we will have to re-adjust. Our goal is to be able to support each other when needed. I am taking this semester off from school and will be staying home with Xander to take care of him, and Jak will be working and going to school. We have talked about how when I need to write for my blog, CTM, or on my secret project (subscribers you know what I am talking about), he will look after Xander. When Jak needs to do homework, I will take care of Xander. Our goal is to be able to do our best to accommodate each other’s schedules and life demands that are outside our family.
Given that I will be staying home with Xander, and with all the psychological knowledge I’ve acquired, I want to be there for Xander for the first six months since those are the most crucial to child development. Along with those key months, attuned parenting styles are essential for having your child develop a healthy attachment style, so I want to make sure I am as available to Xander as possible during the key developmental stages, so Xander grows up knowing he is in a safe and secure environment.
Jak and I obviously want to emulate certain parenting styles that my parents and Jaks dad did while we grew up. There were very positive things they did. We also want to make sure we don’t follow in some mistakes. Parenting isn’t perfect, and what is needed changes constantly. We just hope that we can adjust to life’s curveballs and give Xander the best in life.