Over the past couple of months, the topic of parenting has come up many times. Even before Jak and I were expecting, we talked about having kids and the way we desired to raise them. Now that us having a son is a reality we have had many talks about the way we desire to raise Xander. Given how technologically dependent today’s society is, we want to make sure Xander gets an old-school childhood where he is in the yard playing sports and games rather than sitting behind a screen from the age of two. Sadly, so many children are exposed to technology at the age of two and there hasn’t been enough research on the effects for children. There is some research out there, and what’s out there says that the exposure to technology might not be the best. I know that most children have their own devices at such a young age, but given that Jak and I love the outdoors, photography, and value being active, we hope that we raise Xander to enjoy the outdoors, and be curious about the environment around him. I know Jak and I both have talked to each other, sharing memories from our childhood about being in the environment, exploring, playing with peers. We want Xander to be able to experience that.


We also know that once Xander arrives that things will change and we will have to re-adjust. Our goal is to be able to support each other when needed. I am taking this semester off from school and will be staying home with Xander to take care of him, and Jak will be working and going to school. We have talked about how when I need to write for my blog, CTM, or on my secret project (subscribers you know what I am talking about), he will look after Xander. When Jak needs to do homework, I will take care of Xander. Our goal is to be able to do our best to accommodate each other’s schedules and life demands that are outside our family.

Given that I will be staying home with Xander, and with all the psychological knowledge I’ve acquired, I want to be there for Xander for the first six months since those are the most crucial to child development. Along with those key months, attuned parenting styles are essential for having your child develop a healthy attachment style, so I want to make sure I am as available to Xander as possible during the key developmental stages, so Xander grows up knowing he is in a safe and secure environment.

Jak and I obviously want to emulate certain parenting styles that my parents and Jaks dad did while we grew up. There were very positive things they did. We also want to make sure we don’t follow in some mistakes. Parenting isn’t perfect, and what is needed changes constantly. We just hope that we can adjust to life’s curveballs and give Xander the best in life.

XOXO Savvy


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  1. I’ll tell you this, I had this same notions about raising my children. But, it’s not easy to achieve. Once you have a child, everything changes which I’m sure you are well aware by now. That said, it isn’t impossible.

    We have this ideology of wantingnoir kids to be perfect, not literally, but you know what I mean. Ia a stay adult home mom and despite all of my efforts, I have a an almost three-year-old daughter thst is behind on a lot of things. She works with occupational therapy to work on fine motor and feeding, as well as a speech therapist that is teaching her sign language so she can communicate with us because she doesn’t talk. I have an almost six-year-old son with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder), and a 9 year old daughter who suffers from anxiety and PTSD stemming from the death of her sister in 2012.
    Despite trying to raise then in a world with technology and without using technology, they’re still subjected to it. Despite being a stay-at-home mom and and working with the youngest child, she’s still severely delayed. So I ask you to please consider that your child might not develop as you want him to and know that if he doesn’t, you’re not alone in this world with a child that isn’t perfect.

    Now, I’m not saying you’re going to have to worry about any of this stuff. Every child and every pregnancy is different. But, I am saying that 99% of the time, the plans and goals for raising a child are not met the way we intended and I think you should also prepare for that, be ready to accept the unknown and potential roadblocks that might be in your way.

    If you get to a point where you are down and confused, or need help, don’t forget to reach out and ask. There is no shame in that.

    1. So many typos in that I hate posting from my phone. Lmao.

    2. I know that there is no control on my part for knowing what they will be like, but I do want to protect him to the best of my ability. My sister has dyslexia and the whole family had to pitch in to help her through education. Family is not perfect, but we do our best to take care of each other and protect each other.

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