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I posted a couple weeks ago about how parenting is teamwork. In this post, I am going to talk about why you moms should encourage your spouses to help you out, despite their busy lives. In marriage, you two are equals and are supposed to share responsibilities as equally as possible. So, why is it that new mothers are often found alone in parenting?

My husband, Jak, and I are teammates. We share responsibilities, and both parent our son Xander. I am a stay at home mom at the moment and am fortunate I can work from home. My husband, however, is studying to be an auto technician. This means his classes cannot be taken online, like mine, and his job at BMW is working on cars all day. He gets up at 5:30 AM and three nights a week arrives home at 5:30 PM and two nights a week gets home at 9:00 PM because his auto classes get out at 8:00- 8:40 depending on the project. He still takes the night shift, and even in the mornings before leaving will change and feed Xander so I can sleep in until 7 AM.

During the pregnancy, Jak and I talked about parenting and shared responsibilities. We talked about how hard birth would be on me, given I’d never planned on being pregnant in my life. The birth was incredibly hard for me and very difficult. Jak was there the entire time and encouraged me through. Seeing me in that amount of pain, the amount of time it took from the beginning of labor until the end, he was determined to help me out. I could barely walk for the first week because Jak had held my leg in an awkward position during childbirth and pinched a nerve, so my leg gave out when walking at times.

Jak took the night shift and still takes the night shift to this day. I’ve had people wonder how that happened. I personally think Jak has been so dedicated as a father because he has always wanted to be a father, he wanted to help me out during the six weeks of healing and knew that he wasn’t going to be around during the week much and wanted to spend time with Xander.

So how do you get your spouses to help out?

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2 Comments

  1. We totally split up child care with the kids. My husband works evenings and weekends and generally has the night shift for sick kiddos and fussy babies. I breastfeed though, so I still have to wake up for that. He also has them during weekdays. I wake him up just before I head to work and take our oldest to school. I work days and then have the kiddos in the mornings, evenings, and on weekends when he’s working.

  2. It is so wonderful that you two worked out exactly what is perfect for you. My hubby and I had roles a bit different than yours but that is what makes it so great, it was perfect for us.

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